Pregnancy Loss: How To Cope With The Loss Of Pregnancy
Pregnancy loss is one of the most unfortunate events that can happen to a pregnant woman. It is absolutely devastating and extremely hard to deal with.
Your sorrow after a miscarriage or stillbirth may be so overwhelming that you wonder if you will ever be happy again. You may never entirely “get over” your loss, but your grieving will become more tolerable with time, especially if you realize that your feelings are valid and that you may need time to process them.
This article will talk about various ways and steps you can take for coping with pregnancy loss. It will also aim to assist you in dealing with the wide range of emotions you may experience.
How To Deal With Grief?
When you lose a pregnancy, it is natural to experience shock, sorrow, despair, guilt, rage, and feelings of failure and vulnerability. The severity of the suffering is underestimated by society. You must grieve the loss of a baby, just as you would grieve the loss of any other loved one.
The days, weeks, and perhaps even months after a miscarriage can be very tough and heartbreaking, especially if this is not your first pregnancy loss or if you meticulously planned this pregnancy and believed you did everything “right.” Alternatively, you may just feel withdrawn and irritable, unable to focus or sleep.
Pregnancy loss may come suddenly, and it can be difficult to understand what is going on. You will have to psychologically adjust to living without the future you had hoped for. You may be grieving not just for the baby you have lost, but also for your sense of self as a parent, as well as your future goals and ambitions.
If you told people you were expecting, you will undoubtedly be nervous about telling them now, and even the most honest expressions of sorrow may be difficult to accept. Again, you must understand that this is normal and you can just ask them to give you the space you need.
Listed below are some steps you can take for dealing with immense grief for coping with pregnancy loss:
1. Understand That You Are Not At Fault
Anyone can have pregnancy loss or its problems. Freely and honestly Discuss what is occurring and how it is impacting you.
It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to deal with grief. Accept your emotions as they are and do not pass judgment on yourself or your spouse based on how you react.
2. Freely Express All Emotions
Miscarriage is comparable to the loss of a loved one in the sense that it generates a wide variety of emotions, including sadness and despair. You might even be filled with constant rage. This is perfectly normal too because miscarriage brings out a different kind of anger as opposed to other deaths.
You could be upset that you did not get to meet your baby outside the womb. You may also be enraged with the world because other pregnancies are successful. It is critical that you express all of your emotions.
It is quite normal to feel this way, and it is all part of the mourning process. Grief is not anything to be ashamed of. Understanding this point and not forcing yourself to put up a façade is an essential step in coping with pregnancy loss.
3. Give Yourself Ample Of Time
This step is perhaps the most important one when it comes to coping with pregnancy loss. After a miscarriage, your body’s hormone levels may drop, magnifying your sadness into overflowing depression, although this impact should dissipate within a few weeks.
It is important that you do not put too much pressure on yourself to get over your grief fast. If you deal with your sorrow as and when it arises, your recovery will be more complete. You could find yourself reliving the anguish over time, day by day.
Eventually, when you start taking it day by day, things will improve with time, and you will feel better.
4. Talk To Your Loved Ones
In the beginning, you might want to distance yourself from the people around you. That is totally fine, but only as long as it is temporary and not permanent.
As we all know, sharing grief is a good method of making yourself feel better. You will also need your loved ones to act as a sounding board for your feelings. Thus, communicate with your friends and family in order to have a shoulder to cry on.
5. Take Some Time Off
Even if you heal well physically, taking a break from your job may be beneficial. You need time to digest what has occurred, and stepping away from your normal routine will let you realize and accept everything that is going on.
You can also share your daily chores with friends or family – just ask them for a helping hand.
6. Enlist For A Support Group
As mentioned before, miscarriage is not uncommon. Therefore, there are many others like you who need help in coping with pregnancy loss. Find out about the individuals in such groups ahead of time to determine whether you would fit in.
For this sort of loss, there are several in-person and online support groups available. While your friends and family will always be there for you, connecting with others who have experienced the same loss can be quite beneficial, as sharing your feelings with them might be easier to do.
7. Don’t Expect Your Partner To Grieve Similarly
Understand that everyone grieves differently. Do not be surprised if your spouse does not seem to be as affected by the loss as you are. Share your thoughts and needs with your spouse, but let them process the loss in their own unique way.
If your spouse is a male, keep in mind that men and women mourn in different ways. While women express their feelings and seek help from others, men often prefer to keep their sentiments within and deal with losses on the insides.
Men frequently believe that they must protect their relationships by being powerful. So do not mistake the stoicism of your spouse for a lack of concern for you or your loss, and do not blame yourself if you are not dealing with it as well as he is.
8. If You Are Spiritual, Seek Guidance
If you are religious, speaking with a spiritual leader or attending group worship activities may be beneficial.
9. Do Not Shut Yourself Out
Although it may be difficult to discuss, sharing your experience allows you to feel less alone and aids in your healing. Many of your coworkers, cousins, neighbours, and acquaintances may have their own losses and recovery experiences to tell.
You may receive empathy and support from the most unexpected individuals. This can help compensate for the fact that some people you expected to understand do not appear to realize how much you are suffering.
Remember that someone who has not experienced what you are going through cannot truly understand your situation. Most individuals want to offer something reassuring but are at a loss for words. If they say the incorrect thing or nothing at all, try not to take it personally.
10. Seek Professional Help
A therapist can assist you in navigating your pregnancy loss and recovering more quickly. You and your spouse can also attend couples counselling, depending on your requirements.
It may take some time to discover a therapist that suits you, so do not give up if the first one you try is not for you. Seeking professional help is a great option for long-term recovery in coping with pregnancy loss as well. Consider all your options and then take the needful steps.
Bonus Read: Foods To Avoid During Pregnancy.
Your mental health and overall emotional well-being play a big role in miscarriage healing. While your body will recover from the physical symptoms of miscarriage, it may appear that you will never be able to cope with the death of your baby.
It is critical to give yourself enough time to grieve. However, it is also crucial to know when and how to move on. This shift occurs frequently during the self-care process, which gives time for your body and mind to recover and be nurtured.
It is also crucial not to constantly try to become pregnant within a specific time limit. Your healthcare provider will properly advise you when to try again, but being medically prepared is not the same as being emotionally prepared. Allowing yourself the time and space to completely grieve your loss before moving on will be the best step you can take.
We hope this article helped you in determining the right steps for coping with pregnancy loss. Always remember to not rush and take your recovery process day by day. Understand that your mental health is the most important and do not bottle up your emotions.
June 30, 2021 Sam Bell