Abstinence: What Are The Benefits And All About Abstinence


Abstinence is about not engaging in sexual intercourse. It is subjective to people what they make out of it. Some restrict themselves from all kinds of intimate activities. Others may involve in outercourse but no anal or vaginal penetration. It may also have benefits such as birth control and more.

In the following post, we will talk about abstinence vs. celibacy, outercourse, its benefits, lovemaking activities, STIs, pregnancy, contraception, how to introduce your partner, and others.

Abstinence vs. Celibacy and Outercourse

It does not matter if you have had sex before. You can always choose to not involve in lovemaking again. It can happen at any point in life due to any reason. You may opt for it for a certain period or a lengthy time. But abstinence is different from celibacy. In the latter, the decision is to not engage in intimacy for a lifetime.

Also, it is more related to religious reasons. In the former, the practice is for a time being. Some people want to stay abstinent till when they find the right partner. For others, it may be goal-oriented, such as post-marriage, or only after achieving a few things in life.

It is about why you may not want to make love for a period. Outercourse on the other hand is intimacy-related activities. But these do not include vaginal penetration. Like abstinence, outercourse may hold different meanings to different people upon their choice.

For some, cuddling, kissing, sensual massage, oral sex is fine but not intercourse. So, there is a possibility of some physical activity. For instance, manual stimulation, masturbation, smooching, and dry humping are okay while not having intercourse at all.

Why Do People want to Abstain from Sex?

There are several reasons why a person may not want to have sexual intercourse. Whichever reason it is, as long as you and your partner are okay with it, go for it. Know each other’s choices and respect the same. You may have to set boundaries by knowing the expectations linked to intimacy.

Some of the reasons for abstinence by individuals are:

  • You both are not ready for penetrative intercourse yet
  • Your partner and you are not interested in sex
  • You want to increase pleasure other than just intercourse
  • Not having access to other forms of birth control methods
  • You both wish to explore each other more
  • Complete abstinence so as not to run the risk of STIs and STDs
  • One of you is pregnant, and find sexual intercourse risky
  • You wish to try out and experiment with intimacy
  • Have had sex in the past and do not wish to try it again any soon
  • You are recovering from things that make penetrative sex uncomfortable
  • You experience pain during intercourse or other health issues

Things You Can Do If Practising Abstinence

You can do several things with your partner or solo if not getting into intercourse. But you must discuss abstinence with your partner before practising it. This is more important if their participation is required. Your person should remain comfortable with what you want to do.

Some of the intimacies that people look for even when abstinent are:


Couples derive a lot of satisfaction from kissing. Also, smooching releases serotonin and chemicals that keep you and your partner ‘happy’. The hormonal changes it brings to your body promote health. It is also beneficial for a good mood. Now you may only go for kissing on the mouth.

Or, you may go further and kiss other body parts. Ensure that you take necessary precautions if kissing parts where body fluids are involved.

Anal Sex

This is a great choice for people of every sexual orientation and gender. Here, you may utilize your penile organ, sex toy, or fingers for penetration. Playing around the area to accentuate sensations is also an excellent idea. And yes, it still keeps you abstinent.

Manual Stimulation

You can use your fingers and hands to pleasure yourself. Do the same with your partner. This simultaneous stimulation feels better than solo masturbation. As there is involvement from your dear one, it is a wonderful way to reach climax. Also, all this is possible without intercourse.

You can add on the lubricant to make stimulation easier. Or induce sex toys to make things steamier. It is a nice way to experiment with new add-ons. This can take intimacy a notch higher.

Sexual Texts or Conversations

Communications play a major role in improving intimacy. Be it non-verbal or verbal, you can try out sexual talks with your partner. This way, you can explore lovemaking even during abstinence. It can relieve stress and liberate you sexually. However, remembering the comfort and consent of your person is crucial here.


Mutual or solo masturbation, you can go any of the ways. Mutual masturbation can also mentally relax partners. You can learn about each other’s bodies and likes. So, you will understand what can turn them on. Later on, after you break the abstinence vow, you will know how to pleasure each other the best.

Oral Sex

If you are okay with oral sex, then it can be one of the most pleasurable experiences. Using your mouth to play with your partner’s genitals can be quite arousing. Teasing the erogenous zones can bring a bursting orgasm. Try cunnilingus, blow jobs, rimming, or just use your lips and tongue for something wilder.

However, take protection for sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Several of these can spread through oral sex. Try to maintain a monogamous relationship for better protection from STDs.

Dry Humping

Many individuals practice dry humping to reach the ultimate orgasm. You can experiment with different techniques and positions. Add a bit of kink to make the activity sensuous. There is however a risk of STI when bodily fluids come in contact. These can spread from skin to skin.

So, when dry humping, take care of each other’s needs as well as health precautions. Do not forget to use a barrier method if you are touching your genitals.

Abstinence and Possibilities of a Pregnancy

Abstaining from sexual intercourse is the most effective way to restrict a pregnancy. People use it as a 100% successful birth control method all the time. As no vaginal sex occurs, the sperm does not enter the vagina. There is no such activity that can lead to a woman conceiving.

So, you do not have to worry about pregnancy if staying abstinent. But if you do engage in unprotected vaginal intercourse, then the risk of pregnancy increases. So, talk to your partner about the possibilities of pregnancy and abstinence. Know when they are ready for any of these.

You can also talk about condoms for contraception. Other methods to prohibit pregnancy are birth control pills, injections, intrauterine devices, skin patches, implants, and more. Discuss your options with a doctor to understand more about maternal health and risks.

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Risks to Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Even if you are abstaining from sex, sexually transmitted diseases or infections may happen. These may transfer from skin-to-skin contact or bodily fluids. So, depending on the kind of other intimate activities you both engage in, the risk of STIs may also differ. Certain acts are riskier than others.

The riskiest ones for STDs are anal sex, oral sex, smooching on the mouth, sharing sex toys. Or any session where transfer of bodily fluids or skin-to-skin contact happens. To reduce the possibilities of STIs, use dental dams or condoms. These can prohibit direct skin touch and bodily fluids transfer.

If you are going to start a new relationship or be with a new partner, then you both must get tested for STIs. Taking precautions go a long way in keeping fit and healthy.

How to Prepare Your Partner for Abstinence?

If you have abstinence in mind, you must take your person in confidence. It may feel awkward at first. You may not know how to approach your dear one. But a good way is to initially start a conversation about it. Do not make it sound like a task, but converse lovingly.

Talk about its importance or why you think it may benefit both. Mind it, the reason for abstinence must have something for both. You cannot be selfish here. After all, the goal of a successful relationship is the happiness of both individuals. So, if you want to restrict intercourse, know if your partner wants the same.

Or, if you think it is important to abstain from sex, tell him/her why it is necessary at the moment. If your beloved is okay with the prospect, the next step is to clear the expectations. Know what you both may want to do and not do. Once this is clear, you can resume other lovemaking activities as consented to by both.

Final Words

Sex is an important part of intimacy. But it does not have to be everything. Abstinence lets you experience sexual liberation in more than one way. It also has several advantages. Whether to abstain from physical intimacy or not is purely an individual choice. But you can also do several things to keep the relationship spicy and new.


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